User blog:Nightfall396/The Edward Nigma Saga
I'm not admin on this account and I don't feel like logging into my old one rn so you have to deal with the wiki looking like this Here you can read the entire Edward Nigma Saga so far in chronological order. Edward Nigma Receives Horrifying News Edward Nigma was walking down the street. He got hit by a car and got his revenge by going on LMBW chat and using a spamming script to ping the car driver a shit ton of times. This resulted in an ear-piercing shriek in the driver's ears. He screamed, causing him to lose control and drive directly into the White House. When Donald Trump pinpointed the cause of this, he nuked Edward Nigma. Edward used his death evasion script to survive this. All in all, it was a pretty great day. However, AmazingPythor then walked up to him to deliver horrible news. AmazingPythor: Edward, I have awful news. Edward Nigma: Fuck is it this time AmazingPythor: Edward it's serious, you don't understand. Edward Nigma: Nigga I ain't gonna die lmao. AmazingPythor: Yes you are, it's terminal. Edward Nigma: Oh fuck, dammit. It's a terminal illness? What is it? AmazingPythor: Edward, I don't think you've heard of it before, it's a very rare illness- Edward Nigma: Cut to the fucking chase, what do I have. AmazingPythor: You have... *sniff* you have endma. Edward Nigma: What's endma? AmazingPythor: Endma life lmao Edward Nigma Can't Play Minecraft And Commits Suicide Chris Hansen: Well, Edward, we're about to stop recording. Do you have any last words to say about the events that have unfolded today? Nigma's eyes light up. This is his big moment. This is his time to shine. Never before has he had this much publicity. He's on TV, and now he can say whatever he wants. He can't say "Hi mom!"; he's too cripplingly depressed by the inevitable disappointment she has in him. Thankfully, he knows just what to say instead. Edward Nigma: arse arsehole ass assbag assbandit assbanger assbite assclown asscock asscracker asses assface assfuck assfucker assgoblin asshat asshead asshole asshopper assjacker asslick asslicker assmunch assmuncher asspirate assshole asswipe bampot bastard beaner bitch bitchass bitchtits bitchy blow job blowjob boner brotherfucker bullshit bumblefuck butt plug butt-pirate buttfucka buttfucker camel toe carpetmuncher chinc choad chode clitface clitfuck cockbite cockface cockfucker cockknoker cockmaster cockmongler cockmongruel cockmonkey cockmuncher cockshit cocksmith cocksmoker cocksucker coochie coochy coon cooter cum cumbubble cumjockey cumtart cunt cunthole deggo dickbag dickbeaters dickface dickfuck dickhead dickhole dickmonger dickweasel dickweed dickwod dipshit dookie douche-fag douchebag douchewaffle dumass dumb ass dumbass dumbfuck dumbshit dumshit fagbag fagfucker faggit faggot fagtard fatass fellatio feltch flamer fuck fuckass fuckbrain fuckbutt fucked fucker fuckface fuckhead fuckhole fuckin fucking fucknut fucks fuckstick fucktard fuckup fuckwad fuckwit fuckwitt fudgepacker gaybob gaydo gayfuck gayfuckist gaytard gaywad goddamn goddamnit gooch gook gringo guido handjob heeb homo homodumbshit honkey humping jackass jap jerk off jigaboo jizz jungle bunny junglebunny kike kooch kootch kyke lesbo lezzie mcfagget minge mothafucka motherfucker motherfucking muff muffdiver munging negro nigga nigger niglet nut sack nutsack paki panooch pecker peckerhead penisfucker piss poon poonani poonany porch monkey porchmonkey punanny punta pussylicking puto queef queer queerbait queerhole renob rimjob ruski sand nigger sandnigger schlong scrote shit shitbagger shitcunt shitdick shitface shitfaced shithead shithole shithouse shitspitter shitstain shitter shittiest shitting shitty shiz shiznit skank skeet skullfuck slut slutbag snatch spic spick splooge tard thundercunt tit titfuck tits tittyfuck twat twatlips twats twatwaffle va-j-j vag vjayjay wank wetback whore whorebag wop хуя Chris Hansen: Excuse me what? Uh, Alemas, do you have any idea... Alemas2005: Oh shit, oh fuck. It's N-oh my god, it's N-Nigma-oh shit. Oh my god, it's the bad words page. Alemas breaks down into a sobbing mess. Chris Hansen: Oh...oh god, no. It's his PTSD. God, guys, get him to safety. I'll take Edward to prison. Edward Nigma: Oh man, just wait until I bring back Asshat Avala- Suddenly, Edward's partner in crime speaks up. Damastermind: Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this. Mr. Hansen proceeds to drive Nigma and Dama to prison. Edward himself talks throughout the whole ride, but in no intelligible way. His words, to Chris, are absolute nonsense. Gay boys from outer space? What is this foolishness? Perhaps he was talking about the child he thought he would meat-uh, fuck, meet. Dama, meanwhile, gets sick of Nigma's shit and decides to cease the functioning of his own eardrums. He does this by shooting himself like a fucking idiot. Chris Hansen: Alright, this is your new...home. I apologize about the death of your partner here. Edward Nigma: Nah he was a fuckin bippa anyway Chris walks Nigma to his cell. Chris Hansen: Alright, so as you can see, there's a Wii U for you to play Minecraft on. Edward Nigma: Of all consoles, you chose a Wii U? Chris Hansen: It's a prison, what the fuck did you expect? Edward Nigma: top text Edward Nigma: bottom text Chris Hansen: Now, meet your new cell mate. Nehpets700: Edward Nigma: He's a fucking corpse. Chris Hansen: Doesn't matter if you drop the soap now you bitch. He died with a Wiimote in his hands, take it and use it to play Minecraft. Nigma begrudgingly takes the Wiimote from his hands, and attempts to play the game. Edward Nigma: I can't even work the menu. The batteries must be dead. Chris Hansen: Oh. Let me get new batteries for it. Chris leaves the room and inserts new batteries. Edward Nigma: Holy shit, it's working! Thank you! After about five seconds, the batteries wear out. Edward Nigma breaks down into tears. Edward Nigma: Why...WHY!?!? All I wanted was to play Minecraft with my dead buddy! Chris Hansen: Dude, I think you expected too much from a prison. Edward Nigma: Chris...Chris...what's that on your waist? Chris Hansen: That's a belt. Edward Nigma: Chrissss...what is it, on that belt? Chris Hansen: That's a gun. I use it for when the pedos are dumbasses. Nigma takes Mr. Hansen's lower clothing off and begins giving him a handjob. Chris Hansen: What the fuck- In his distraction, Nigma steals the gun. Edward Nigma: Now YOU can be my dead buddy! Chris Hansen: OH SHIT- Nigma shoots him directly in the dick, killing him instantly. Edward Nigma: Ha...ha...ha...I couldn't play Minecraft...and now, I will no longer play the game of life. Nigma proceeds to stick the gun up his ass and pull the trigger. Edward Nigma: Yes...now I can finally ascend to heaven! God: Fam I don't even know where to fucking begin with you. Edward Nigma: Oh shit Damastermind: We be in hell my nibba Edward Nigma: хуя Nigma Pissing As the sun sets, we witness a beautiful scene on a cliff. The camera zooms in on the cliff, showing the incredible of Edward Nigma with his pants pulled down, a giant black bar near his crotch concealing what lies behind, yet revealing the true girth of it. Behind him, Alemas2005 watches; perhaps in horror, perhaps in confusion, perhaps in amazement. Edward Nigma: Time to take a piss! While the legendary administrator looks on, Nigma pisses off of the fucking cliff. Alemas2005: What the hell are you doing? Edward Nigma: I'm taking a piss! Alemas2005: Okay, but why aren't you harassing me? Thats what you're supposed to do. Edward Nigma: I might do it fucking later. Alemas2005: No, I'm a motherfucking administrator, you're supposed to harass me! Edward Nigma: Okey-dokey, then. Let me pull up my pants again first, and then maybe I'll harass you. Alemas2005: Maybe? MAYBE!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!? NO! HARASS ME NOW MOTHERFUCKER! Edward Nigma: Let me get my pants first. Alemas2005: Ugh, fine. Nigma Pissing 2: Nigma's Revenge One day, Edward Nigma was browsing his favorite website, the Lego Message Boards Wiki. He used to like other websites, but this was the only one he was allowed to access after he was placed in the deepest pit of Hell for accidentally jacking off to the entire trademarked Keplers hentai collection. Suddenly, he found something that truly made his heart stop. Edward Nigma: So, a lot of people read a blog online of me taking a piss, and it has over a trillion views. That's unacceptable! While these people might think they're laughing at this blog, but they won't laugh anymore. I shall have my revenge. Somewhere in Nashville, Nigma starts his plan. He finds an admin he once knew and begins. Riolu777: Yes, what do you want? Edward Nigma: I'm here to kill you! Riolu777: I must be imagining things, Nigma's not real, he's a fictional character. Edward Nigma: But obviously I am real, since I'm here. Riolu777: The doctor was right, I should take my meds more often. Edward Nigma: Well, I am gonna get my gun and fucking kill you! Riolu777: Oh, shit! Rio fucking dies. Nigma takes his work to Spidey's house. Edward Nigma: You won't be laughing no more, motherfucker. ZXSpidermanXZ: Who the fuck are you? Edward Nigma: I'm here to kill you! ZXSpidermanXZ: Then bring it on, motherfucker. I am a true admin! You should use a chat nuking script instead of a gun. Edward Nigma: Okey-dokey, then! ZXSpidermanXZ: What the hell is this in my chat? It's the chat nuking script! God dammit! I couldn't even pull out my defenestrator before- Nigma proceeds to brutally murder Spidey. Meanwhile, in the secret LMBW Admin chat... Drew1200: This murderous motherfucker Nigma needs to be stopped, he's a very wanted terrorist. Madkatmaximus: And the fact he kills everyone who liked the Nigma Pissing blog is totally unacceptable. Edward Nigma: Are you guys looking for me? Drew1200: You will do no more of this! Edward Nigma: Well, I have a bomb in my hand, and I will activate it. Drew1200: Oh, shit. The bomb explodes. There's no doubt that Madkat and Drew have tragically met their ends, but yet, you can't help but wonder if Nigma himself has once again cheated death. Category:Blog posts